Matrescence - the birth of a mother
Matrescence - ever heard this word? It is likely that you haven’t, as ‘matrscence’ has not made it into our common vocabulary. The dictionary definition is ‘the process of becoming a mother’, coined by Dana Raphael, American Medical Anthropologist.
“Childbirth brings about a series of very dramatic changes in the new mother’s physical being, in her emotional life, in her status, in her emotional life, in her status within the group, even in her own female identity. I distinguish this period of transition from others by terming it Matrescence to emphasize the mother and to focus on her new lifestyle” Dana Rapheal (1973).
Have you ever considered the fact that with every birth of a baby there is a birth of a mother?
Why am I focusing on the mother alone? Surely, parents are born, fathers are born, yes, they are and there is a transition to parenthood that happens like a bolt out of the blue in most cases but, did you know that when a mother has a baby, her brain changes forever? This can and does in turn affect the way she thinks, feels and behaves.
This is a tremendous shift for a woman, becoming a mother is not spoken about enough.
I want all mothers, new and old, to be aware of this transformational shift that occurs when a mama is born!
Matrescence, similar to adolescence is as big and as real as the rapid developmental shift that happens to a baby under 3 when the world begins to open up for them and they start to become aware of themselves. This shift is as much of a big deal as adolescence and yet it is not widely recognised.
We could help so many mothers by acknowledging and supporting women when they transition to motherhood.
Culturally, we expect a mother to ‘return to normal’, be a career woman and a super mum, in equal proportions. The societal pressure is immense. Yet there is so much happening to a mother on so many levels - we need to be aware of this and show respect to this vulnerable and transformational time in a woman’s life. Honestly, mothers Rock!!
Did you know the following changes occur when a Mother is born?
Plasticity of the brain changes
The way the brain is wired changes forever!!
Hormonal changes occur
Physical changes occur
Emotional changes occur
Cultural identity changes
Social identity changes
Spiritual identity changes
This is a big deal! Yet we expect a woman to get back to normal after having a baby?! Let me tell you this, a mother will never return to normal. Once a mother, always a mother. If you are a new mother or an expectant mother reading this, I urge you to find your ‘new normal’, which in many ways can be so much richer, wiser, complex than your ‘old normal’. Embrace the changes, take your time to adjust and get to know the ‘new you’ but be sure to surround yourself with support and be kind to yourself along the way.
