How bad is the pain of giving birth?
This is a question that I am asked ALL the time. The simple answer is…it’s different from person to person.
Pain is most certainly a word that is associated with labour and birth. Many people will even go as far as saying that “giving birth is the most painful thing you will experience in your whole life”, others will use it as a common comparison to describe the severity of pain, saying things like “It was worse than childbirth!” Or “You’ve had a baby, you can cope with having your ingrowing toenail operated on!”.
For generations, we have been preconditioned to expect serious pain and with birth becoming an increasingly medical event, it’s no surprise that this is a question that crops up in most expectant parents’ minds (usually soon after the news that they are pregnant has sunk in!).
Great, so you managed to get pregnant, now you need to get a fully grown human baby out!!!!
So, what does it feel like?
I don’t want to sound ‘wishy-washy’ but it really does depend on so many things. You might have 8 babies and each time it can feel different. This is because there are so many factors at play - the positioning of the baby in the womb, the length of the labour, whether the mother has been induced or gone into spontaneous labour, the environment the mother is birthing in, how relaxed she is, whether the mother is stressed, whether she is ready, who is with her, what her pregnancy has been like, what type of birth she is having…honestly the list is endless.
Here are some common descriptions of the sensations experienced during contractions:
Tightenings
Sharp pain
Cramping
Overwhelming waves of pressure
Aching
Intensity
Shooting pains
Intense period pains
Where are the sensations felt?
Again, this really does vary from person to person but commonly mothers experience contractions/surges in the:
Lower abdomen
Lower back
Whole abdomen
Hips/pelvis and sometimes into the thighs
A combination of lots of different areas
These sensations can change as labour progresses and as the baby descends down the birth path. Usually, labour starts off slowly and gradually builds in intensity, allowing the mother to get used to the sensations and find her own way of coping and getting through each one.
Stages of labour
Labour tends to be divided up into three stages:
First stage - from latent or early labour which is where the cervix begins to thin and open. This can take anything from a few hours to a few days. After which, the mother will move into established/active labour, when the cervix opens more and from around 4cm open to 7/8cm. This period could last from 8-18hours. The mother will then transition to the second stage. This can often be the most intense part of labour. It is important that the mother remains calm and feels safe and supported.
Second stage - lasting up to 2-3 hours where the mother's body will bring her baby down and into the world. There is often a change of pace and focus at this point.
Third stage - this is the stage after the baby is born when the mother births the placenta (yes, you have to do it again!!) This is often described as painless. The uterus is acting in the same way but it’s curious to think that when a mother is holding her baby, she doesn’t feel the sensations in the same way. This has a lot to do with hormones.
When I teach my hypnobirthing classes, I encourage parents not to focus on times and to view birth as one continuous process. Getting hung up on stages and timeframes can be counterproductive and affect the natural flow of birth as well as the birthing mother’s mindset.
Is it like any other pain you have experienced?
Usually, no! It might feel like a very intense period pain which you may have experienced in the past but the big difference is that it usually comes and goes. The contractions or surges/waves as I like to call them, start off shorter from a few seconds at a time with long gaps in between, to a minute or more with short gaps between them by the end. Each one tends to build in intensity, reach a peak and then tail off. In between each of these waves there is often no sensation, no pain, no discomfort. So it is unlike any other pain, which tends to last until it’s gone, in labour when it’s there, it’s there and in between there is nothing. So it can be really useful to focus on each surge at a time. As labour progresses, these surges/waves will get closer together and increase in length and in intensity too.
When do I go to the hospital/birth centre?
When labour is in full flow, you are likely to have surges that last about 1 minute at a time, every 5 minutes or 3 surges within 10 minutes, each lasting 60 seconds. When a pattern like this emerges, you might like to call your midwife. Until this point is best to stay at home, unless of course you have planned a home birth, and then you don’t have to go anywhere. Going to your birthplace too early could slow things down and you may be advised to go back home and return when your labour picks up again.
Can labour be pain-free?
Yes!! Ok, don’t get too excited, this isn’t for the vast majority but it certainly is possible. Often this is all about mindset, mind over matter and all that. Take running a marathon for example, if you have trained, prepared, your body, you have the right shoes, you know what is expected of you and you are determined to get to the end - you might push through sensations of intensity or even push pain to the back of your mind. You know what your body needs - hydration, oxygen and energy for your muscles to function. You don’t fear those sensations, you know your muscles are working really hard, but you also know what it feels like for your muscles to work hard, so you go with it. You might even try to distract your mind from the task at hand to not focus on something else. If you are in a rhythm, you might not even feel any pain until the next day. Many athletes use visualisation techniques to help them to run faster, perform better and optimise their body’s capabilities.
Labour is quite similar in many respects, contractions/surges/waves are the muscles of the uterus tightening and releasing to open your cervix and nudge your baby down. These muscles need oxygenated blood, hydration and energy and if you prepare your mind, your body will do the work. If you educate yourself about the physiology of birth and how the body works, what is happening during each one of those surges, what your baby is doing, you will lose the fear.
When you lose the fear, you lose the pain. Instead, the pain becomes, intensity, empowerment and an understanding that each surge is bringing your baby closer to you. It is a moment in time and before long, you will be holding your beautiful little one, skin to skin, on your chest in amazement of what you have achieved!
Top tip…
Relax and let go of fear!!!! I know, it’s easier said than done, but I promise you will be forever thankful if you learn how to do it. There are many ways to do this during birth:
Specific breathing techniques
Visualisations - taking your mind to another place
Movement
Positioning
Rest
Feeling well supported
Having the right environment
Feeling safe and secure
HypnoBirthing
Two of my favourite affirmations that may help you during your birth are:
“My surges cannot be stronger than me, because they are me!”
“Each surge of my body brings my baby closer to me”
The best time to practice is during your pregnancy, just like an athlete who takes months to prepare for a race/competition, invest in this time during your pregnancy, I promise you wont regret it. Choose the best course/s to prepare you in every way for your baby’s birthing day.
Birthing With Love HypnoBirthing Courses
My Birthing With Love HypnoBirthing course is specifically designed to get you fully geared up for the birth of your baby. You will learn the tools and techniques to get you through. You will learn how to eliminate fears and anxieties surrounding birth, learn the science of birth, learn to relax and let go, how to work with your body and use breathing techniques that are literally amazing! Plus, tons of tips and tricks along the way. So, whatever your labour feels like and however, long or short it will be (who knows, you might be one of the pain free births?!)…either way it will be right for you and you will know what to do, to birth your baby with calm confidence.
To find out more about my courses, submit an enquiry on my website and schedule in a no obligation Discovery Call with me and I will give you a feel for how a Birthing With Love Hypnobirthing course can completely transform the way you view birth and get you super ready and hyped for your baby’s birthing day!
https://www.birthingwithlove.co.uk/contact
Happy Birthing,
With love, Yvette x
