My unassisted home birth-born into the toilet!
“Welcome to the World little one”, the first words that I whispered to my third baby, as I held him in my arms, warm, pure, skin on skin, nature’s miracle at it’s best!
As with all three of my boys, I had used the tried and tested techniques of HypnoBirthing. We learned the original, Mongan Method of HypnoBirthing for the first time in 2009 and the tools and techniques have never failed us. We loved it so much, that after the birth of our second baby, I decided to retrain as an NCT Antenatal Teacher and HypnoBirthing practitioner, to help others and share my knowledge and passion.
All three of my births have been different, but each one has taught me a little bit more about myself, about the miracle of birth, my body, my innate abilities to birth and the importance of relaxation and support.
This pregnancy felt so special, I was empowered with knowledge, I was practicing what I preached, I was embracing every moment and loving it!
My 34 week appointment with my midwife changed things. I was seeing a different midwife, that day, she felt that there was a possibility that my baby was breech. She said “Do what you can to turn him and hopefully the baby will be in the right position at the 36 week appointment. If not, we will discuss the alternatives with you and the possibility of an ECV (manually turning the baby)”.
This planted a niggling seed of doubt, panic if I’m honest. My logical mind knew that it was completely plausible for my baby to turn in the coming weeks and some babies don’t even turn until the birth itself. Not to forget the fact that breech babies can be born vaginally and at home!
Despite this, I freaked out! I was adamant that I would have a home birth, I didn’t want anything getting in the way. I began to bounce on my birthing ball like crazy, I started seeing an acupuncturist, I was lying upside down on an ironing board, lent up against my sofa daily, with blood rushing to my head (yes, this is a method to get your baby into the correct position for birth)! The stress and pressure that this put on me and my pregnancy was crazy!
I attended my next appointment and he was head down!! My efforts had paid off (or would he have turned anyway? Maybe he was in the correct position all along? Who knows?!). I thought I was in the clear until my Midwife checked my blood pressure - about 3 times!! It was through the roof - in hindsight, I wonder whether the stress of trying to turn my baby had an affect on my blood pressure?
Off I went to the hospital - and there I was pretty much daily, with my husband and children waiting in the car, whilst I waited to be seen, waited to be tested, more waiting, being threatened with being admitted, taking medication, being ‘told off’ by registrars, seen by consultants, told my baby was at risk, that my home birth was off the cards!
The whole experience was awful, but one thing I knew was to follow my instincts. I wanted my home birth, the hospital was stressing me out, I just wanted to be given space to calm down!
I spoke to my community midwife, I explained that the hospital will be the worst place for me in labour, I wanted to be at home! “If you want my blood pressure to be stabilised, keep me out of stress, keep me at home!” I told her.
She listened and agreed to speak to her seniors to approve a home birth.
In the meantime, I had a doula booked, I was preparing everything for birth, spending extra time in relaxation practice and really relying on my hypnobirthing techniques to keep me calm. I completed my birth plan and my little man decided that we were both ready.
At 37 weeks, I went into labour. I didn’t know if my home birth had been approved but my instincts did tell me to stay where I was. I surrounded myself with my favourite things, dimmed the lights, bounced on my ball and visualised all that I wanted. I was so relaxed my husband didn’t even realise that things were progressing, until I asked him to call our Doula, Lydia. She knew what was happening but I still felt I had time. We called the midwives and they advised us to call back when things intensified.
Well they did, very quickly. It was a cold foggy night and travel was difficult, Lydia was on her way. In the mean time, I was having a few clear outs. I was up and down the stairs like a yoyo (which probably sped things up too!). I thought I had released a bowl movement in my leggings, I was convinced! I urged my husband to help me up the stairs (again) as I wanted to ‘sort myself out’ before Lydia arrived. I sat on the loo, I hadn’t had a bowl moment, phew! Whilst I sat there, out of the blue came an almighty surge, one that over powered my entire being!! I breathed, boy did I breath and then I was bearing down with a force so powerful I was unable to communicate the intensity to my husband. All I could say was “My baby” repeatedly. He looked confused, had his wife lost the plot??!! With a final almighty surge, out came Tomas, into the toilet! “Get the baby” I said. My husband was shocked “What baby?” not quite understanding that I had given birth! - Only moments before he had been relaxing downstairs, with the odd interruption of having to support me through a surge.
I think Tomas was born En Caul (in his bag of waters), I had to remove the amniotic sac from his perfectly formed little body.
The minute I set eyes on him I was in awe, in awe of him, of us and what we had just accomplished. We did it all alone, I just surrendered to my body and let go, supported by my husband.
I was delighted when my wonderful doula arrived just minutes after he was born and reassured us with her calm voice. I was so grateful to have her there to take control to allow me to just focus on my baby. She was honestly amazing. I had hoped to have her there to support the birth but Tomas had other ideas and surprised us with his quick entry into the world. It didn’t matter, having a birth doula to support with the third stage of labour was just as important, especially as the midwives were not able to get to us for a while due to the fog.
Tomas’s older brothers woke up after he was born (older children often sleep through home births at night, its like they know!) They came into the bathroom, rubbing their eyes, asking if they had another brother yet? They kissed Tomas on the head and went back to bed! We went to our bedroom after birthing the placenta and relaxed with tea and biscuits, waiting for the Midwife. The Midwife advised we go to hospital to get Tomas checked over as he was a little on the small side. Lydia then stayed with my older boys for the rest of the night and the best part of the next day. I have since found out that there was an option to stay at home (I didn’t even know about that!). So always ask about the alternatives!
A week later, I received a letter to say that my home birth had been approved!
Tomas’ birth has had a true and lasting impact on our whole family. It has normalised birth for my older boys and has made us all see how nature is incredible, powerful and we are stronger and more intuitive than we think!
My words of advice:
Get a Doula!! Even when you are a HypnoBirthing Practitioner and Antenatal Teacher, this was the best investment for our family! You can contact Lydia Retusch, our Doula here: https://www.yourbirthchoice.co.uk or for a wonderful directory of registered Doulas all over the UK, visit: https://doula.org.uk
Attend a Hypnobirthing course - delve deeply into this area, learn the skills, practice them daily and immerse yourself in positivity surrounding birth…Hypnobirthing got me through three times over, it really is the best way to prepare for birth!! Check out my courses and get in touch for a discover call, so that I can help you find the best course fit for you!
Trust your instincts!!!! Policies, procedures and protocols are made for populations not individuals…you know your body and your baby better than anyone else!!! Trust your intuition!
Always ask about the alternatives…there are always alternatives that may feel like a better fit for you!! Don’t be afraid to ask questions at every stage in pregnancy, the birth and afterwards too. If you are told there is no time to discuss things during appointments, demand the time and ask for second options where necessary.
You can do this! I never thought that I would have a baby in my bathroom, on the toilet and passed to me by my husband, whilst my other two children were fast asleep in the next room! This was not scary, it was the most empowering and exhilarating experience of my life!!
